ÒKull the ConquerorÓ is one hopelessly silly film.
Shamelessly based on star Kevin SorboÕs claim to fame, ÒHercules: the Legendary JourneysÓ and its spin-off ÒXena: Warrior Princess,Ó ÒKullÓ is little more than a double-length television show with more elaborate set design and more characters.
However, the movie is also quite entertaining.
Sorbo plays former slave Kull, who ends up ruling the land of Valucia after he tries to settle a spat between the King and one of his heirs. The King ends up being mortally wounded but, before dying, proclaims that Kull shall be king instead of the otherwise rightful heir.
The first few sequences in the film are the most difficult to believe. Because he has lived the life of a slave, King Kull is a wonderful leader, freeing his slaves and granted freedom of religion to a formerly oppressed people. Kull seems to be realizing the American dream centuries before there was an America.
From the beginning of his reign, though, the heirs to the throne want Kull dead. After a failed attempt, they contact Akavishu, something of a devil incarnate, who has returned from the dead after 3,000 years.
Akavishu (played by the always-scantily clad Tia Carrere) easily convinces Kull to marry her. Then, she breathes fire in his mouth, and he nearly dies.
Most everything up to this point is wasted cinema. Kull is sickeningly wonderful and virtuous, and the story really goes nowhere. Now that there is a true problem, the action really starts, and it means something.
Kull, after escaping from a dungeon he was kept in, meets up with Zareta, a woman he really loves, and her brother. Together, the three go on a quest to collect the breath of Valka, the antidote to AkavishuÕs power.
It isnÕt quite as predictable as it may seem, but there arenÕt any big surprises, either.
Kevin Sorbo doesnÕt detract from his film, but he doesnÕt milk his role for all the laughs that were obviously intended. Somehow, all the lines that might look funny on paper are destroyed by SorboÕs heavy-handed nature.
The other actors are merely plot points, and none stand out, except possibly Carrere, whose literally demonic nature is played for a laugh now and then.
A constant positive distraction is the diverse, eclectic musical score by Joey Goldsmith. Without succumbing to the need for a #1 pop song to sell the soundtrack, Goldsmith uses every imaginable musical color and genre to drive the film, or at least to try.
I will admit that ÒKullÓ isnÕt the kind of film that hits theaters every other weekend. It was written by the same person as ÒDragonheart,Ó and was far superior to that mess. KullÕsÓ comparable success was built on its somewhat lighthearted nature. The film just doesnÕt take that far enough.
Grade: C-