A plot summary of “Jerry McGuire” sounds a great deal like an advertisement for a made-for-TV movie.
A successful businessman has everything going for him - good looks, lots of money, an attractive girlfriend - but doesn’t feel quite complete. Then his entire world crashes down on him, and when has to start from scratch, he begins to appreciate different things about life.
And I’m expected to sit through that for two and a half hours? Maybe the first time, but never, ever again.
Frankly, “Jerry McGuire” was an insipid, sappy, melodramatic, failed attempt at a romantic comedy that annoyed me.
The first major problem with this film is that the mood was constantly either extremely elated or very depressed, and sometimes the switch would take place randomly and without merit. All in all, I counted eight transitions between the two radically different emotions.
I’ll admit that human emotion isn’t exactly consistent, and cinema should be the same way, but this was just too much. “Jerry McGuire” wasn’t a very complex movie, and it would’ve taken an extremely complex one to merit such drastic mood changes.
On top of all this, the plot wasn’t all that believable.
The story was set into motion when, distressed by the his profession (he’s a sports agent), Jerry McGuire (Tom Cruise) sits down and writes a mission statement (or a very long-winded memo, depending on your perspective) on what is wrong with his profession.
For the first few days after sending out his mission statement, everyone congratulates him and all seems well, but before long, Jerry’s evil boss, Bob Sugar, fires him, for a reason that we really never find out.
After an extremely pointless scene when Jerry and Bob duel it out for all of Jerry’s clients, the title character decides to start a new company on his own, and the only person that will leave with him is Dorothy Boyd (Renee Zellwegger).
After Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend, the predictable happens, simply setting into motion a formula plot that hits the screen several times every year.
The only good performance in the film was that of Cuba Gooding, Jr. He is the one athlete that decides to stay with McGuire, and is by far the most complex character in the film. He is charismatic to a fault, and has an attitude to match any overpaid pro athlete in sports today.
Unfortunately, that concludes the list of positive performances. Cruise and Zellwegger are both strikingly boring, and their romance lacks the chemistry that this movie desperately needed.
For all I know, “Jerry McGuire” would’ve been a great made-for-TV movie - commercial interupptions and all. At least that way I would’ve had a chance to leave.
Grade: D-